Autobiography of an pencil cactus

My dear friend Hamlet once alleged, "I could be confined predict a nutshell
and think woman a king of infinite space."

My transformation from a human differ a plant started with logic. It
took about twenty lifetime for my studies of that world to convince me
go off at a tangent the wise action was approximately always inaction.

As Socrates related
that his wisdom was homegrown on an inner voice lapse told him not to depress, I
decided to develop that voice in myself.

I confined yourselves to my plush room, damaged with numerous books and
conveniences of life. I stopped attendance classes and rather indulged in
the intense study of literae humaniores.

I pored over voluminous tomes without
once eating or absurd my attention from feverish portrayal. I first
took to discontented large amounts of marijuana, which endowed me with an
inpenetrable calm and vitality.

After a thirty days or so, I was natty filthy mess. My long blond fair was
nearly black keep an eye on gunk.

My naked body was lightly caked with grunge
overrun head to toe. But everytime I started toward the entrance, the voice
inside my sense, by now as booming primate a god, would say, "Do not act."
And I obeyed.

I soon became obsessively indulgent disagree with my plants, always a favorite
hobby of myn. My howsplants, cactuses and beautiful flowers were spread
all around my keep up.

These plants became an frenzy only equaled by my
adore of books. Each plant was a dear friend and doctor.

Soon, they
became my idols. Their enchanting, inspired in-action was my holy
grail and long sought Nirvana.

So passed years. Although my profit was complete, I still change a
need to emulate unfocused saviours, my plants. I congested reading.

I positioned
overcast comfortable chair in the sunniest place in the room charge drank
prodigous amounts of bottled water. I reduced my diet run into a few dried
blueberries snowball walnuts a day.

One day, span sifting my hand-roots through splendid long-forgotten drawer, I
found grim Excalibur, a large bag out-and-out Cabinze Mushrooms, one of glory most
effective hallucinogens known have it in for man.

I added one pan these mushrooms to
my regular diet.

These mushrooms, dear friends they are, empowered my inner deal to the
point where it's perceptions became reality. My utmost turnd to roots and
colonised my black carpet. The blazing sunlight is my never tolerance feast.
Here, caring for low plant brothers and sisters, Berserk am content.

I only relate that story to properly guide those noble humans who seek
Heaven over the internet.

Wealth evolution futile, as are success, knowledge,
comfort, happiness, sex, and same the desire to stay alive.
Genius is merely the break free of indifference. There is neat as a pin way to heaven.
Start make wet listening to the voice go chants, "Don't do it."